Monday, November 16, 2009

Re: Helping a spouse understand

I am taking the comments and posting them as a separate post so that folks who read this blog via an email subscription can read your enlightened and wonderful posts about dealing with loved ones who have objections.  This also allows me to post the comments from those of you who comment by email.

One comment I'd like to add to the great ones below is that no one understands better than you what it feels like to be in your body, and what is best for your body.  Sometimes people who love you need to be reminded of that.

From Kay:


I had a lot of negativity from my husband and 18 yr old son when I made it known that I wanted to buy a TravelScoot. I think that they were worried that they would be embarassed by the Scoot. Although I don't need to have knee replacement, I do have osteoarthritis and suffer from terrible pain when walking. I think that the cost was also an issue with my husband (that is always a problem with him). But, my mother recently passed away and left me some money. She would have wanted me to have whatever I thought I needed to be comfortable. She was such a lovely supportive mother. Elizabeth is my sister and she and our mother had many scooter moments, so I knew that it would be a good thing for me. About 2 weeks after I got the scooter we went to Washington DC for parent's weekend and my husband said to me on one of the many journeys we took that weekend that he could see why I needed the TravelScoot. (I never really gave him a chance at NOT accepting it, though.) Maybe your husband/ family has the same fears about being embarassed. I would rather they be embarassed instead of you having knee surgery that potentially might not work. It didn't take long for my family to see what a good thing this was for me.

I don't let anyone get between me and my Scoot. Love you Hardy!!!


From Krystal:

Anne Sweetie, first off remind your lovely, caring Hubby that it is YOUR body. ANY TIME you have the body opened up for any reason it is traumatic. If it is for a surgery that you do not feel is really needed at this time only makes it worse - mentally.

You obviously have some moblitity or you'd have gotten a wheelchair instead. As you have chosen moblitiy help instead of the possible relief (no, I don't trust the surgery either), it doesn't sound like you have reached the end of the line where surgery is the only option for some kind of relief. Has Hubby even googled knee replacement? Strongly suggest that he gets all the possible facts first.

Just so you know, my first few weeks with the Scoot were the worst. Not because of it or me, but because of some of the negative responses I got from supposed friends and family. My feelings were hurt that they didn't seem to want the best for me. Or even thought that I might know what is best for me. IGNORE THEM!! You have a grand support group here whether you know it or not.

Now let me tell you about riding the Scoot. I now go places like malls, aquariums, and expos without worring about planning my paths for the fewest steps. Or worrying that I'll be in agony for the next two days. Riding the Scoot is so fun, I now go out to places like the Outlet Mall to ride around and be out and about - just because I CAN! It's also fun being the fast one in a group instead fo the slowest.

Just had a thought, maybe the reason Hubby doesn't like the Scoot is because he is jealous. You know men and their toys. . . . .

Maybe you should get him one also?

From Lynn Ellen:

This does not have to be an either/or decision.

I've had one hip and a partial knee replacements 10 and 4 years ago, respectively. even tho the knee was partial, the surgery and recovery was just as painful as a full replacement, and more painful and complicated than the hip replacement. I am not complaining, as each gave me a whole new lease on life and I had excellent care, a brilliant surgeon, and everythng was textbook. further, my best friend had both knees replaced on the same day about 4 months after my knee was done, and we overlapped some on our rehab, which was done entirely in the water, and she is now doing quite well.

Still, with each joint replacement, it takes months, even a full year and a half, to feel like everything is back to normal, and meanwhile it is hard work, because it is essential to do the rehab exercises.

So why do I now use a TravelScoot? my back has osteoarthritis as well, and the surgery they could do has a lousy prognosis, so I get my exercise in the water (and lifting the scoot in and out of my Volkswagen Beetle trunk), but I save my strength by riding the Scoot whenever I'm faced with having to walk more than the 5-10 minutes that usually kills my back and I am no longer in nearly as much pain overall.

So, ultimately, you might benefit from both the Scoot AND joint replacements. however it is your body, and your life. not that the Scoot is cheap, but it is cheaper than having to get a new vehicle, with a lift, for a traditional scooter, and you can take it wherever you go, and fit it in practically any vehicle, so you are much more mobile. and the decision about if and when you get your knees replaced should be yours and only yours. I am hoping your husband is wanting you to have less pain, but he may not understand that these are two very different options, and are not mutually exclusive.

1 comment:

  1. Lynn Ellen, Krystal and Kay, you have such wisdom. THANK YOU for sharing your thoughts with us. It's going to sound sappy, but I just love you all!